The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Hiring a Hitman – A Comedic Look at How Not To Do It!

Do you ever find yourself in a sticky situation and need to hire a hitman? If so, then you’re in luck! This guide will show you how not to hire one, with a comedic twist. This tongue-in-cheek guide will provide you with a few tips and tricks to make sure you don’t end up in an even stickier situation. So, if you’re looking for a few laughs, and some helpful hints on how not to hire a hitman, then this is the guide for you!

Using the Dark Web to Hire a Hitman

The first thing you should know if you need to hire a hitman is how to use the dark web. The dark web is a term used to describe a network of computers that use special software to host websites anonymously. This network is accessible only through a special browser called Tor, which is designed to conceal a user’s location and identity. If you decide to use the dark web to hire a hitman, make sure you know where to go and what sites to use. 

Posting an Online Classified Ad

If you decide to post an online classified ad, you’ll have to decide on the type of ad you want to post. The first thing you’ll have to decide is which classified ad website you want to post. Some of the most popular sites are Craigslist, Backpage, and Kijiji. 

When posting an ad for an assassin, you want to make sure you are upfront and specific about what you want the assassin to do. You don’t want to leave room for interpretation or uncertainty. You also want to make sure your ad is not traced back to you. One of the best ways to ensure this is to use untraceable emails and false information.

Utilizing Social Media

Hiring a hitman through social media might seem strange, but it happens. If you decide to go this route, make sure you do your research first. Most social networks have a way for users to report posts. If you are upfront about hiring a hitman, you might end up getting your post taken down. The best way to hire a hitman through social media is to make an account for a fictitious person and hire a hitman through their account. Make sure you are upfront with your reasons for hiring a hitman and why you’re using a fictitious account. If you don’t know what you’re doing, you could end up getting in a lot of trouble.

Choosing the Wrong Hitman

When hiring a hitman, it’s important to make sure you choose the right person for the job. You don’t want to end up hiring the wrong hitman and putting yourself or your loved ones in danger. Avoid hiring a hitman who is too eager or is asking for money upfront. This is a common sign of a scammer or someone who might be trying to rob you. If you decide to hire a hitman, there’s a chance you might end up with the wrong hitman. If you don’t know what you’re doing, or you don’t have the facts straight, you could end up with a hitman who isn’t reliable and won’t finish the job.

Conclusion

The next time you find yourself needing to hire a hitman, remember these tips. From using the dark web to posting an online classified ad, hiring a hitman can be pretty straightforward if you know what you’re doing. However, it’s important to remember to be upfront with your reasons for hiring a hitman and what you want them to do. If you don’t know what you’re doing, hiring a hitman could turn out to be more trouble than it’s worth. In any case, all this is a dirty job, so if you are experiencing any issues with a person, you should better let the police solve these problems!